Put up your umbrella and dance in the rain...

:..dance in the rain..:

Sometimes it's too easy to lose sight of any good. It's too simple to get lost somewhere in hell and not be able to make it back out.
The past two years have been extremely frustrating. For various reasons. It becomes all too easy to stay pissed at God when things get out of control. After losing a friend to death, and then a lot of them due to circumstances, I learned to stand on my own.
I'm still lost, at least part of the time. I feel like i'm always trying to pick things back up. I would love nothing more than to just go back in time. Daily there is a constant battle being waged between staying upset and working to get better. I want to get better, I want to breathe easier. I want things to be as simple as they were before.

I miss:

• Youth group- This saved my sanity. Now I'm not sure how much further I have to go before I get to call myself insane.
• Weekends at the Grubbs- I spent the other day with Chelsea, let me tell you, I miss that family dearly. I just pray that they don't look at me any differently now after hearing about the "mess". I loved being the fourth Grubbs daughter. Waking up on Sunday mornings as part of the family...
• Emma Grace- My goodness, I miss this child! She never fails to bring a smile to my lips. She is becoming such a little lady. So grown up and becoming so beautiful.
• The guys- I really do miss them. They constantly made me laugh and cheered me up when I was down.
• The girls- At this point, thinking about this makes me cry. I wish I could fix everything but I'm not sure that I can. I can't take on all their problems when I'm trying to deal with mine. I love them dearly and I miss them terribly but I think I'm afraid to let them back in.
  
• Whitestone- I know I don't have nearly as many memories as the others have, but I just can't help being a little sentimental about that building.
• Fae- Rest in peace angel baby. All my love...
  

Wow, sleep is very much so necessary.