I am nothing more than the sum of my conflictions. I am young, and i forget that sometimes. I am happy to stay home and read but with every night comes the dread that I'm missing out. I should be out late, scaring my parents, getting shit-faced and kissing strangers. But instead i'm safe, responsible, trust-worthy. I want to travel and see and experience everything I can get my hands on. But I'm too much of a homebody to do it. I want to marry, have babies and start my life. But I want to be single, and go out and meet people. I want new people in my life but I don't want to open myself up for disaster.
I want it all.
Yet I do nothing but compromise.
Instead of working my ass off to do and experience everything, I am too tired and do nothing.
Tired physically. Emotionally exhausted. Spiritually drained.
I'm too tired to fight, too tired to do everything for everybody. After giving it my best shot to please everybody, i'm too tired to please myself.
I think I am destined to always be discontent.
I will always want more, new, different.
I will never rest.